In grandmas house God is always number one. Jesus is part of God and don’t forget the Holy spirit who finally completes them. That’s something I learned as soon as I was able to comprehend things. As I made the sign of the cross, I spoke the words “In the name of the father…” touching my forehead “…the son” touching my left shoulder… “and the holy spirit. Amen.” finally ending with a gentle tap of my right shoulder. Now that I think about it, even though I was so young it made me feel good, probably because I seen how happy it made my grandma. The beautiful thing is now that feeling has turned into my sense of a peace of mind.
Starting at the age of five I attended church classes, with my grandma being a strict catholic, offered to pay for all the classes if our parents were willing to take us to them. My dad was raised catholic his whole life, as while as my mom; so my brother and I were destined to become catholic as well. Although we were young we liked church I mean it wasn’t our favorite thing to do but it wasn’t that bad either. I’m sure its due to the same reasons why now we enjoyed our church. The first being it was only 45 minuets to an hour most Sunday, unless it was a special devotions mass. So my mom would always say “ you can take one hour out of your week to thank God.” when I thought of it that way it made me feel bad so I was always convinced to go. The second reason being our priest was no ordinary man, he was funny, talkative, and appealing when he gave his sermons. Some people think catholic masses can be very dry, boring in a way and I think I can see why sometimes but, not ours.
I went through all the steps of becoming a devoted catholic. Baptized, first communion, first confession, but my confirmation was delayed. When I was in high school I made other things more important then my faith. I still believed I just wasn’t as devoted. I started to explore other religions go to different churches and began to wonder what was truly for me. My grandmother knew she couldn’t tell me what to do so she only would invite but not impose church on me. When terrible things happen people always seem to look to faith. To ask god to help them. This is what happened to me. I started relying heavily on my faith and found myself at peace when I went to church. The beautiful thing is I choose to go for me, myself, and I. I even went by myself many times, took it upon myself to sign up for adult classes and finally got confirmed.
I’m not going to lie and say I’m a practicing catholic because although I’d like to think I am. I know there’s many times were I’m not practicing the catholic faith. Cough (drinking, premarital sex, cussing, etc.) cough. But I do truly believe in God, trust it him, and thank him for all that I have. Could I make more of an effort to go to church, yes. Have I lately, no. Do I want to, yes. Why I haven’t, I truly don’t know. But that is the question I linger on and this is the journey that I’m on with my faith currently.
How does one accomplish being a practicing catholic in modern society. Is it even possible to do both? And if it is , how? If anyone knows I’d like the answer please. Until then I’ll keep searching and praying to find out myself. What I do know is when in doubt I go to church, and there I always find my peace of mind.